It's tricky

This special needs parenting thing.

Parenting in general requires arms like an octopus, heart the size of the world but armor over it the size of the Galaxy. 

Parenting special needs children i used to think was just an extension of parenting but the longer were in this game, I feel like we're in an entirely different sport all together. Or should I say, all alone. 

There are so many unspoken rules in this game:

• Treat your kids like they're normal
• Allow others to treat them differently
• Don't judge others parenting because I have a special needs child 
• Don't judge others special needs parenting because I have a normal kiddo at home 
• Accept advice 
• Ignore advice
• Be your child's strongest advocate
• Become to news reporter and marketing VP for the world on your child's latest update
• Smile in public because you have so much to be thankful for 
• Look defeated in public because strangers love to see you exhausted so their prayers are validated

The spoken rules are much simpler:

• Research, find, campaign and fight for the best medical team for your child. 
• Never take a single day for granted. 
• Secure your families future, emotionally - physically and financially. 
• Define, redefine and redefine again your priorities until you've nailed them down. Embrace them and then wash your hands of the rest.

It's tricky.. The amount of hats I am learning to wear and the amount of critical thinking it requires day to day. Staying true to who I am as a person despite the hat on my head at the moment. Remembering who my husband fell in love with and bringing her around time to time. Recognizing that just because my hands are full doesn't mean I have to sacrifice my best qualities (taking care of others, writing hand written notes to friends when they're on my mind, cooking a meal for a sick friend or spending my day off shopping with my grandmother).

It's tricky to stay in touch with the core of our family and balance the rest around it. Annabelle makes it so hard in so many ways.. It's tricky to remember to wear that smile. 

It's also tricky not to love it.

It's taken almost 3 years to come to terms with our life in the shape and form it's in today, but man is it special. We've come so far, Annabelle has beaten so many odds and shocked doctors in so many hospitals. Because of Annabelle we moved from our last home and had to relocate - as a result though we've found the best community waiting for us, one we may have never met if it weren't for Annabelle. Life is hard at times, hearing advice from strangers, being judged by family and friends or misunderstood by doctors - each and every time though, it brings our immediate family even closer than before. We are growing stronger by the punches that try to knock us down.. I couldn't be more grateful for anything than what God has given us in Annabelle.. It's tricky. 

Love it or hate it, this is us. A silly mommy, goofy daddy, too-grown-for-her-own-good Madelynne and loving-hateful-opinionated-fierce-Annabelle.